Wednesday, February 24, 2010

a little sigh of relief....

i am so happy and thankful to say that this gruesome thing known as bed rest is doing the trick!!!! thank you God! monday i went in for my typical OB check-up and everything looks great with our sweet girl, weighing 2 lbs. 12 oz right now. and tuesday i had an appt with my specialist. lately ive been getting very nervous about going to these check-ups bc theyve only been filled with bad news. i have prayed and prayed that some how miraculously God would make my cervix better,which i didnt even think was possible, until yesterday when my doctor told me that my cervix WAS indeed better! Praise the Lord! it is so reassuring to hear that and know that my bed rest IS paying off! i couldnt have been happier, however, with that huge sigh of relief, we are now entering into a new problem.... for some reason, in the past couple of weeks my uterus has excess fluids. my doctor has eliminated all the serious causes which is GREAT, but the only concern now is if my water breaks, the immense pressure from the decompression of all the excess will cause the placenta to rupture too! so now i praying that if/when my water breaks, this is not the case! but other good news, my doctor thinks i will be able to carry full term (woohoo!!!!) and that i'll be able to keep little Gracie Girl in, until her daddy comes home from Korea! what an answer to my prayers that would be! Travis leaves next week for Korea and will be home April 18th, so pray Gracie stays in mommy AT LEAST until then!

i have to say that Travis has been an absolute rockstar these past couple of weeks! it amazes me what an incredible dad he is! and Grayson could not adore him any more! he absolutely idolizes him. he copies everything he does and i just LOVE watching the two of them together. its been an incredible bonding experience for them and i think travis realizes now how exhausting it truly is to be a mommy, but worth every bit of it!

in other news, quite belated, BUT congratulations to some of the most incredible friends out there, on their first little miracle in the making..... THE STURGEON'S. they will make the best parents and i cant wait for many playdates! Looking forward to another October baby!!! love you both so much!

i think there must be something in the water because an amazing number of people i know are preggers! i love it!

in other OTHER news, my prayers are with the Greer family, as Jill fights this battle of breast cancer. there is not a doubt in my mind that she will kick the cancers butt! she is so surrounded by prayers and love. it's amazing! praying continuously!

im taking recommendations for good books, so let me know what you have read that was really good. im currently reading, The good so far, and have a few good reads to follow thanks to my sweet, sweet friend haley! suggestions?!

hope everyone is having a great week so far, sorry i have no pictures to post!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


how do you tell a mom, whose world revolves around her little boy, that she isn't going to be able to hold him for the next three months?

i went in for a check-up today to be sure my progesterone injections were working. i have prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed some more that these injections will do the trick to avoid any further complications. well, it seems that God has a little bit of a different plan than i was hoping for. the injections are not working and my complications are worsening quickly, and i have now been put on bedrest at 26 weeks, will have to be hooked up to monitors to monitor my contractions, and be given meds to try to stop the contractions intravenously through the leg! this is what i was so afraid of. i am allowed bathroom and showering priviledges, that's it. i tried explaining to my doctor that bedrest simply couldnt be an option and she was quick to tell me that it was my only option or i could very likely end up in the hospital with a preemie, suffering from cerebral palsy or blindness. im scared, terrified, helpless, but hopeful. this broke my heart to hear that, but when she told me that i couldn't hold my little boy for the rest of my pregnancy, my eyes instantly filled with tears and im pretty sure they haven't stopped since. never in a million years did i think something like this would happen to me. what makes this whole situation even two weeks, my husband leaves for korea for 3 months!!! i have already been having such terrible anxiety thinking about him leaving bc i worry he wont be home for the arrival of miss gracie, but now im anxious in so many more ways. today has easily been one of the worst days, im so emotionally exhausted, yet cant sleep. im sick of this stupid bed already and it hasn't even been a full day. how do i do this for three months? how do i keep my sanity? what will i do once travis leaves? how do i not love on my little angel for 3 months? i have so many questions and not a single answer! i have faith that God knows what he is doing and that it will all work out and He can do immeasurable things. for now that is my only answer.